My visa interview for USA trip is on 13th next month. All the documents are ready except visa photos, which I am planning to get done in this weekend. I wish the interview would have been over earlier. I donno why I am so scared of this interview. Having nightmares every night. I just can't think of the consequences if for some unforseen reason visa is not approved. I am looking forward to this trip so that we can improve our relation. We are not going through a very good time. So the fear is that if I can't go then probably the relation will see even more bad times !

Had not been doing any exercise for quite sometime ! Joined yoga classes last month but had to discontinue for some muscle pain. Swimming was out of question in this weather at this time in Bangalore. So it was the best thing to start some indoor game. And what could be better than badminton ? Though it's not as good an exercise as swimming but I am enjoying it. Spend 1600 bucks to buy a racket ! And I hope this will keep me motivated to go and play baddy regularly...

I shifted to another room in the same hostel with another girl. My previous room was not a good one and in the rainy season it became damp ! And with my breathing problem few months back, it was not a good idea to keep on staying in that room now that rainy season is almost here. The present room in the second floor is far better with lots of air and light compared to the previous room which was in the ground floor with not much light. My roommate Debaleena is quite younger to me. She joined IISc last year and is doing her Integrated PhD in Physics.

This year is not a good one for me ! Having lots of physical problems. Not to mention the emotional ones. Room shifting caused some breathing problem again because of dust ! Whole night couldnt sleep bcoz of the breathing problem. Was very tired the whole day. Both physically and emotionally I am drained out. I think I have forgotten how to enjoy life. I keep on saying that one should get the best out of any situation one finds oneself. I have been doing the same. But lately it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to do that. I have forgotten how to be happy. I am unable to concentrate on my work. Guess I need a change but donno how to take that ! So moving on with life as it is presenting itself to me...

http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2006/jun/08mar.htm : came across this while reading rediff. People who are planning to get married probably will find it useful. Being myself married, I think it is worth going through at least. Lots of things change after marriage. But people like me want to keep it the same way ! At least in a broader sense. But change is in nature. How can I stop it ?

My husband said today 'what dont kill ya makes ya stronger' and all the hard time we are going through will ultimately help me. The truth is I am beyond my capacity and I don't understand or believe these things anymore. I admire him for what he has done for himself. He has gone a long way and I wish his dreams come true. Professionally he is successful and of course doesn't want to leave all these things just for a relation. So for a better priceless future we are living in two different continents ! Thats how our generation wants to live. Sacrifice the present for a so called better and secure future ! A future which nobody knows... and one might not be there to live in that 'better future' ! Thats the irony with our generation...

Why and what ? These are two words which are haunting me for sometime now. I dont understand 'why' I am still expecting and if at all I can, 'what' to expect ! Feeling so tired with all these... donno what to do to get out of this state. Was chatting with one of my friends yesterday... she was also very upset and we ended up talking about life. She is also very much emotional like me, maybe more than me. We both don't understand who is correct: people who are practical and deal with reasons or people who are emotional and deal with feelings. I think both reasons and feelings should be there. But what dominates ? The problem comes when a person from one class has to deal with a person from the other class. And it becomes a real bad problem when one person doesn't understand the other. And the battle of reasons and feelings continues for ever...

Yesterday I was getting bored and browsing through some of pictures. One link was pictures of a trek to Himalaya that some of my friends did last month. That reminded me of a bike trip to Himalaya last year by some guys from RTMC (Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Club), Bangalore. Prashi (one of the RTMC guys) had sent me the link (http://www.roadhogs.org.in/HT/) long back and I had only seen the photographs at that time. They were simply amazing. Yday I retrieved the link and started going through it again, this time even the write up. The experience was a new one for me. I just got addicted and finished the write-up with only one break. I know, you can't experience the true beauty of Himalaya unless you see it yourself. But even the experience of enjoying it through others' eyes is not a less one.